“They do all their deeds to be seen by others.” ~Matthew 23:5a
Lord Jesus, when you warned your disciples about having a Pharisaical heart, you were warning them of replacing the gift of the gospel with the beauty of one’s reputation as the prize of one’s heart. The Pharisee, as a respected group within Judaism, lived for the praise of men. If he prayed, he wanted people to hear his eloquence. If he gave, he made sure that others saw the greatness of his generosity. Any “righteous deed” done was “to be seen by others.” For the Pharisee, righteousness was not something to be received as a grace-gift, it was a reputation that was earned, sustained and ultimately defined by his moral standing in the eyes of his peers.
Sadly, as I reflect upon my heart, your indictment upon the Pharisees is one that exposes my own motives. I confess that the driving factor that motivates my public deeds is rarely love for you or my neighbor, but rather how my actions or words will reflect upon me—upon my reputation. I, too, live for the praise of men, and am becoming more and more aware of how little I actually rest in the gospel—the gospel that provides me with a reputation as an unworthy sinner who was loved and adopted by a King. It is a reputation that dies to the perceptions of the world and boasts only in the cross. It is a reputation that thinks so very little about itself, but so much about the fame of Jesus.
In light of the gospel, it is my desire today to have your Holy Spirit fill me and consume my heart in such a way that I am enabled to truly and deeply repent of my pursuit of self-glory. As an adopted son, may I recognize the spirit of fear that wants me to be consumed with the opinions of the world. By the power of your Sprit, may I not live in response to what other may think or say, nor out of duty or mere social expectation. But may I live with a quiet confidence that my reputation in heaven is that of a righteous, beloved son of the King. Yes, I am a son of the King.
Thank you Jesus. O thank you, Jesus, for giving me an imputed righteousness that now serves as the basis for my heavenly reputation, which by the power of your grace is able to heal emotional wounds, mend insecurities and provide the gospel power that I need to break from the idolatry of a worldly reputation.
Like a car with its wheels out of alignment, my heart continually will pull me toward the pursuit of that worldly reputation. And when I succeed, I get proud. When I fail, I get depressed. Father, let both pride and depression, including their cousins anger, fear, gossip and insecurity, be red flags concerning this mis-alignment in my heart. Enable me in that moment of awareness to realign my mind with the truth of the gospel so that it is able to speak the truth of grace to my heart. And then, as I am preaching the gospel to myself, enable me to believe who I am in Jesus, and to celebrate and worship him, with Paul, “Boasting only in the cross of Christ Jesus my Lord.”
Let me define my life not by what the world tells me I am, but by what you tell me I am. Then I will be free to love. No more mere duty or sheer obligation. I will be free to follow Jesus and be used as an instrument of his love in the lives of others, as the counter cultural life of radical grace transforms a recovering Pharisee into a believing son.
